I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
