I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
