it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
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i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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