How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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