I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
