Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
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Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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