i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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