I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am available for nakedness
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
