Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
