D3 body, D1 cock
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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