So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
