you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
