peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
