So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You were trust falling into bushes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
