This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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