walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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