when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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