walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
