the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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