Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
