took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
