Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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