I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
