why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
