make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
