I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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