And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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