Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize