she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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