oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You smell like a Billy Joel song
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
