she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
