You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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