I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
