I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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