she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
