After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
