if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
