I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
