so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
