you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
