I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
