doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
