dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
