Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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