wakey wakey hands off snakey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
