I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So much rum. So many feels.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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