grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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