Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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