kristin has been a bad kristin
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
