I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
