He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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