my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
