Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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