talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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