please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
