My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
