My boss' voice literally gives me gas
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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