Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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