It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
