and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
