thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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