I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
