I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
