Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
