im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
