Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
