nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
